The Myth of Normal: Embracing Neurodiversity and Challenging the Concept of Normalcy

As I immersed myself in Gabor Maté’s The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture, I found myself deeply reflecting on the damaging concept of "normal" and its profound impact on our understanding of neurodiversity. Maté’s insights resonate powerfully with my own experiences and the stories of those I work with, revealing how the idea of a singular, standard “normal” brain function perpetuates stigma and misunderstanding. The exploration of these ideas is further enriched by Sonny Jane Wise’s We’re All Neurodiverse, which amplifies the need to embrace and celebrate our neurological differences.

The Fallacy of Normal

The pervasive concept of normalcy dictates that everyone should conform to a standardized model of brain function and behavior, dismissing the vast diversity of human experiences and neurotypes. This so-called “normal” is a construct influenced by societal norms that prioritize comfort and conformity over authenticity. The pressure to fit into this narrow definition often leads to judgment, shame, and marginalization for those who do not conform.

Variations in brain function and behavior are inherent aspects of human diversity and should be acknowledged and respected. This perspective shifts away from viewing neurodivergent conditions—such as autism, ADHD, and dyslexia—as disorders needing correction. Instead, it celebrates the unique strengths and perspectives these individuals contribute to our communities. Ignoring or attempting to suppress these differences not only harms individuals but also impoverishes society by neglecting valuable, diverse contributions.

A Civil Rights Perspective

Neurodiversity represents a significant portion of the population, estimated at 10% to 20% in the US. This demographic highlights the urgent need to broaden our understanding and appreciation of neurodivergent conditions.

Historically, marginalized groups have faced exclusion for not fitting societal ideals—standards typically centered around dominant cultural norms. Like civil rights movements that have strived for greater equality and recognition, the movement for neurodiversity seeks to challenge and expand these narrow definitions. Sonny Jane Wise, in We’re All Neurodiverse, eloquently argues that recognizing and valuing the contributions of neurodivergent individuals is crucial not just for equity but for the growth and vibrancy of society.

Trauma and Neurodiversity

Maté’s work underscores the profound impact of trauma on health, a concept particularly relevant to neurodivergent individuals. He distinguishes between "big T" traumas, such as significant abuse or catastrophic events, and "little t" traumas, which include ongoing, insidious experiences like discrimination and subtle invalidation. Both types of trauma can deeply affect an individual’s mental and physical health, often resulting in conditions like autoimmune disorders and mental health challenges.

For neurodivergent individuals, the trauma of societal pressure to conform to neurotypical standards is often compounded by the practice of “masking.” This phenomenon involves suppressing their true selves to appear neurotypical, a survival mechanism to navigate social situations and avoid discrimination. Wise also emphasizes that while masking can facilitate short-term adaptation, it exacts a heavy toll on mental health, leading to heightened anxiety, depression, and burnout.

The Toll of Masking

The relentless effort to suppress one’s authentic self in favor of neurotypical conformity can have severe repercussions. Those who mask often face delays in receiving accurate diagnoses and feel a profound sense of isolation. Wise highlights the importance of creating inclusive environments where masking is unnecessary, allowing neurodivergent individuals to live authentically and thrive as their true selves.

Moving Beyond the Myth

To foster genuine well-being and social inclusion, we must transcend the myth of normal and fully embrace neurodiversity. True healing and growth involve understanding and addressing individuals' traumas, whether from societal pressures or personal experiences. By creating environments that allow neurodivergent individuals to express their authentic selves without fear of judgment or discrimination, we can support their journey toward well-being and fulfillment.