Facing Chronic Illness: Food and Perfectionism.
Eating disorder recovery and chronic illness healing are complex and multifaceted. Having struggled with eating disorders for nearly 20 years and various autoimmune conditions for 12, I've learned the immense patience, compassion, and perseverance required to heal. These experiences have been profound teachers, guiding me through feelings of hopelessness and solitude to a place of recovery and health.
The journey was often mired by the notion of "perfectionism," a common thread in disordered eating characterized by self-restriction, rigidity, and punitive food rules. My battle with perfectionism intensified after a surgery removed 18 inches of my intestines, making my dietary choices potentially life-threatening. Balancing the strict requirements of my physical health with the need for self-kindness became a delicate endeavor.
The Medical Medium information, channeled by Anthony William, was pivotal in addressing my chronic health issues that had eluded medical professionals. Yet, delving into this healing knowledge, I found myself grappling with familiar perfectionist patterns, a testament to how our deepest habits can infiltrate even our noblest efforts.
Working in mental health for 14 years and now transitioning into holistic health coaching, I've sometimes felt like an imposter, not "perfect enough" in my health practices. But Anthony William's work, emphasizing compassion and kindness, has been a source of unwavering support. Perfectionism, a long-standing ego pattern, is something I'm learning to befriend and treat with compassion.
I've come to see my pain and challenges as opportunities to share in my healing purpose. While I don't always adhere strictly to the Medical Medium protocols, I acknowledge my growth and accept that it's okay. My journey is unique, filled with the elements necessary for my evolution.
Healing is a cyclical process: falling into despair, then seeking guidance and self-love, and rising again, each time gaining more strength and wisdom. This process cultivates the tenacity, courage, and empathy we're here to develop.
A therapist in Boulder has been crucial in teaching me the essence of divine compassionate presence. Daily practice in reconnecting with our inner light is vital for support on our journey. When I slip, returning to self-awareness and self-compassion is my saving grace.
Each day, I recommit to my healing, knowing that every action adds up, like savings in a health piggy bank. It's important to honor the needs of my body while also allowing myself grace and softness. Setting strong intentions for healing, paired with compassion for the slips and forgiveness for the falls, is what I call resilient grace—a reminder that I'm human and every step forward counts.